Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize