thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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