You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
