I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
