went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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