..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
we're so committed to being not committed
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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