Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
