Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
