Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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