he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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