is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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