Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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