Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.

Fav 8 1062 3766
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five

(1-262): View more from Wisconsin

bitch

Fav 62 3553 5273
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(248): View more from Michigan

noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.

Fav 5 3895 1508
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(317): View more from Indiana

Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.

Fav 9 4116 1403
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(801): View more from Utah

Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible

Fav 3 627 445
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(773): View more from Illinois

okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.

Fav 2 604 998
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(248): View more from Michigan

Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.

Fav 0 482 243
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(732): View more from New Jersey

You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.

Fav 0 99 4
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