This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
