Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
