i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
