If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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