Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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