The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
