covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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