the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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