i may or may not be watching the land before time
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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