this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
