Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's blow job season.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
