My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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