yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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