this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
