I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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