His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
