ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
