My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
