Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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