I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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