and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
