Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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