Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
