Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
be right there i have to get my cape
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
