I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
