I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Green mimosas i think yes
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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