Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
