this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
