office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
