I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
