I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
