do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
