If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
