Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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