Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
