i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
