so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
