She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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