we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Even my vagina gasped.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize