9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize