come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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