Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
