When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
