So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
