dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
