So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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