my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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