I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
