Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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