Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
